zephyrico

Everything before me happened in a whirl for the past month.

I really felt like i'm dreaming, experiencing that kinda thoughts and feelings for the first time in life.

Yet, all these come with a price, especially for my family and closest friends.

Moods these days have been really temperamental, like a  roller coaster that i can't even stand myself. One moment happy, the next crying, and it's always on extreme ends.

Against all odds, my mind is set and i'll  pursue this decision. All i need is blessings...

Wishing you everlasting bliss and happiness!! I don't really remember during discussion in our school days who will actually get married. Well, turned out to be our 3rd, sis. Who's next? haha

More upcoming photos..

 This week was pretty interesting.

One case wanna terminate our service, and somehow i was made responsible coz the engineers did not turn up for the second meeting. Trying my best for the past week to give solutions, writing assurance reports are not helping much, and theyre still demanding compensation. Well, let them take watever legal actions they want.

Second case, the MA switched four hands since mar when i'm in talks with the condo. Initially, tried to scare us in with all the termination talks and well, i think i seriously have enough of them. Cant they come up with something new besides all the threat with termination of contracts or legal actions? Well, we have a fulegal team in office too. Bleah. At the end of day, the job i'm wooing for the past few months is not coming in soon, but they'll sign a new maintenance contract with us. 

Thurs, this MA invited to drinks with few other MA and contracters to drinks at Chevron. Played pool and had three rounds of beer but din get a chance to sing that night. Quite fun, a first work-related socialising event.

Well, my manager told me i'm not putting effort in the right place. I agree so, but i believe in nurturing fruits of labour, and lending a helping hand within my ability. Be it motive or principles, i'll stand firm but will also continue to work hard in other areas too.

Am not in a pretty clear state of mind lately, gotta clean up and get on with life..

There's talks about mons gathering in sept, but it's so hard to get it done. Everyone has been different responsibilities and stands, and life. Not that i'm getting pissed, i'm trying very hard to get used to facts. Hopes not high about this.

 Boy, this week was really a ridiculous week.

Monday- Due to blues, I was back home by 8pm.
Tuesday- OT, then dinner with colleague and back at 11pm.
Wednesday- Rushing sales figures, back at 1030pm.
Thurs- Had a site survey and joined some nite works, got back at 2am.
Fri- Best, i escaped right aft team meeting in the evening.
Sat- meeting in the morning.

My week didn't start out well, and i got pretty disappointed. First time i flared at my manager and i think i have reached max of my patience.
By mid-week, i really had the intentions to give up though it's just a sweeping thought. The day before i left office for centrepoint, i had a chat with this engineer who used to be with our team and know pretty much about the market, the business and the directions. He really inspires me and gave me quite some ideas and directions for thoughts. 

Finally, it's supposed to be a family dinner, celebrating the three cancerians' birthdays. Well, turned out wei has events and boy went on disappearing acts. Food wasn't by standards today, but company is good. I love my family, and i want everyone to be happy. ;)

The opportunity is here, should i go?

I

Who on earth lends 10k to a lady who needs money for legal fees to gain custody of child when she divorced her husband, on grounds for the sake of 12 percent investment?

Who on earth threatens the poor lady that he'll auction off her precious pendant (worth more than 10k) should she not repay the 10k soon?  So far, she only managed to repay the 1,200 in 2.5 years time.

I cannot help but wonder... WHY ON EARTH DID HE WANT TO MAKE AN INVESTMENT OUT OF A LADY WHO OBVIOUSLY DOES NOT HAVE THE ABILITY TO REPAY HIM?

Today marks my 3rd driving lesson, and apparently much more productive than my first two after-work lessons. Enjoyed being on the road, hands on the wheel and the feeling of control over the car. A good analogy for the kinda life i pursue- in control, pursue what i want and do.

Compared to my life six months ago, i'm glad to make such a decision. Today, my life is so much more challenging. I have to balance and maintain relationships with internal/ external customers, as any glitches along the way would result in undesirable consequences. I've to initiate meetings and make appointments. I've gotta make presentations and do research for product knowledge. I get the feeling to be in control of my success and achievement. In truth, some of my feelings during those days were gradually coming back to me. Sense of overcoming challenges and to achieve more, which all lie in my hands now.

Can't deny that my feelings pretty much revolved round my surrounding people. I get pissed when i kena scolding, irritation or unfavourable comments. On the contrary, compliments and smiling faces usually makes my day. This bad   habit of being so easily affected has to go soon. Recently crumbled a few times under increasing stress, and though my emo binge is not serious anymore, there is quite some permanent damage to myself physically and mentally.

Glad that my sis has volunteered to be my gym buddy. Yeah! Some motivation to shed off those extra pounds.             

Let's not be too surprised. I made my first presentation to a council board today, after four months at work.

For the last few months, i requested for my boss to help me and i avoided the last 2 chances. Thought that i should stand on my feet this time round, and chucked my fears all behind me. Over this period of time, i've gained more knowledge that in turn made me feel more confident, especially when it comes to handling objections and answering queries. Thankfully, i've a colleague from another department with me, helping me along the way and firming my points. Wasn't that bad actually, and i'm lucky to meet a council with nice members, except for a mismatcher who made references all the way to 1996. haha

Sometime ago, dom and i were on this topic that my emotional always rules over logic for the better of me. He mentioned that if i were to use this characteristic as a strength, i would make a successful salesperson coz i'm able to feel from client's standpoint. This will always serve as a reminder for my career path i've thus chosen.

TODAY was really my DAY!

After exactly 4 months after my sales entry, I clinched my first deal! Discounting my previous part-time exp during my school days, this is my first ever deal. I'll always remember this day. 

Weeks ago, i was disheartened when my two potential projects made a sharp turn for the worse. I started to doubt myself, my abilities, my judgement, my confidence and everything. I felt like giving up but eventually decided upon perseverance.  And now, my efforts have paid off. Immense sense of relief, joy and satisfaction. Relief that my decision of switching to sales was a right one. Joy that i finally, finally, finally made it. And most of all the satisfaction of savoring fruits of labour at the end of day. Guess wat, this deal isn't either of my two potential projects. There's the combination of the elements- heaven, time, location, efforts and humans de factos. 

An ex-colleague of mine who is in Philippines now told me weeks ago
"Tell them u r not those people whom pretend to be clever, stupid sometimes make a person cute too. Learning stage has no age limit, furthermore, I tink u r the best person to guide me with ur experience cater me to serve u better. He may not know more than u but for sure he will go thru the learning stage safely with u, cos he taught he is ur mentor and want to protect to save his face."

I remembered when i first started, i was totally on the defensive side and especially prickly when asked about my age. I'll pretend to look knowledgable and cringed when i couldn't answer their questions. When i reflected and reminded by Debbie, i changed approach. Today, when the conversation gets comfortable, i'll share that i have almost zero knowledge in sales and lift. In most cases, my customer will immediately lower their expectations and then share with me of their previous experiences. Meetings would usually end with a series of questions that i deiligently noted down. Crucial part will then lie on me- will i get back to them? how fast i can give them answers?  In way, i finally found my style for now after a series of tumbling. Though it's a tedious process, i've gained more knowledge myself through a series of innovative and creative people i've met so far. Though totally stressed out and busy like hell all the time, i couldn't help admit i'm enjoying the fact that i'm learning something new every other day.

I finally see the light, and am going to work my way through, to my goal.

Last sat, i failed to complete Sundown Marathon. Think my legs gave way at 8km, and i started jogging/walking after that. Wanna gave up at 10 plus km, if i hadn't ran into Nic along the way. Four hours and 35 mins later, i could run or walk no more and finally gave up at 26km. I wasn't really dissapointed coz i wasn't even prepared and the terrains was really tough, unlike std chart route. Nevertheless, i ought to be guilty coz my legs recovered by the third day unlike the last run that lasted almost a month. This only simply means that i hadn't reached my limits yet. I learnt a big lesson too- never to join another marathon again unless i'm prepared and ready again. This is no simple feat. People who joined marathon really aimed to complete the entire journey RUNNING, not running first half and WALKING second half. In the event that i ran again, i'll make sure i run at least two-third of the distance.

 
Last but not least, dined with xian and boy at Sushi Tei Raffles City today. Yummy but super ex that cost me a bomb. Somehow we've forseen me closing a sales today so just right for a celebration. *duh*
And for once, a guess bag and wallet on the shelf caught my eye. *Big, fat lie*

I like this quote.

"Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there."

John Wooden

BAH!

After 4 months and 25 days, my temper acted up today. My manager is leaving for Spain tonight, and he chased me for sales figures at 530pm when i rushed back to send out an urgent mail. My driving lesson was due at 630pm.

Last min, i've flared silently for the last few months, but today is my limit. Within 20mins, i finished cooking the figures with skills acquired along the way. I spent more than 2 hours in the lst month. Well, for the next 20 mins, i finished drafting my report and emailed to client. Dom told me he wanna see me, but i ignored. 1 min before i left, i emailed him the figures and left without a word.

Later, Dom msg me and said i shld be big enough and responsible for my actions. Following that, my manager also msg me that he noticed i look stress and am welcomed to discuss with him. At that point of time, my direction of anger turned to myself. Once again, i've let my emotions rule logic again.

Especially this week, i felt thoroughly stressed. More and bigger jobs for me to handle, more and more follow-ups as my client base is increasing, more and more questions are looking for answers. Though there are several samatarians who always extend help warmingly, there are also some who do not. I am not doing well. My management of time and my projects have paramount room for improvement.

And not to mention i made a big blunder at a meeting with the management of a big group. Haven't forgiven myself on that yet, which may cost me  the job.

Sigh. How can i have more time? Less sleep cost me my focus and blunder at work. Meeting clients round the day left me shacked; replying mails and doing proposals til i drop in bed.

And i'm quite worried about the marathon on sat, coz i'm badly prepared.

Duh, despite all and everything, i'm persevering on. Putting aside pride to learn, focusing on my goals (figures), determining to succeed as a salesperson, and last but not least, to gain more exposure and enjoy the entire learning process.

The Southern Ridges comprise a 9-kilometre chain of green, open spaces spanning the rolling hills of Mount Faber Park, Telok Blangah Hill Park and Kent Ridge Park before ending at West Coast Park.

It is an area steeped in history and is home to some of nature’s greatest gifts of flora and fauna. It is also one of the best spots in Singapore to catch panoramic views of the city, harbour and the Southern Islands.

Together with uncle's family, my parents and sis, we set out halfway at Kent Ridge Car Park A at around 9am. Our end destination was Harbourfront.

  

Canopy Walk- 0.3km


Look at the breathtaking and unique flowers in the glass houses!
   
Floral Walk- 03.km


This is Southeast Asia’s first one-stop centre for gardening-related recreational, educational, research and retail activities in a park setting. Some park highlights include attractive themed gardens as well as outdoor display plots showcasing designs and ideas for home gardening.
 

   Doesn't this look familiar, xian?

 

   My weird parents?



HortPark- 1.1.km

The bridge, with its curved deck and tilted arch, spans across Alexandra Road like an opened leaf. On the Hyderabad Road side, the bridge is connected to HortPark - the gardening hub, via the Floral Walk. Near the bridge is Gillman Village, a former British military camp in the early 20th century, is now home to an eclectic mix of restaurants, pubs and art galleries. 

My nephew, recharging energy.
Alexandra Arch- 0.08km


  
Henderson Waves- 0.3km

At 36 metres above Henderson Road, Henderson Waves is the highest pedestrian bridge in Singapore. It was built to connect the two hills of Mount Faber and Telok Blangah Hill.

The bridge has a unique wave-form made up of seven undulating curved steel “ribs” that alternately rise over and under its deck. The curved “ribs” form alcoves that function as shelters with seats within.

Faber Walk meanders through Mount Faber Park, one of the oldest parks in Singapore, and ends at the Henderson Waves. The slopes of this 56-hectare park are covered by dense secondary rain forest, and are home to many interesting plants and fauna.
At its peak the park offers panoramic views of the southern part of Singapore and the Southern Islands. 
 
Faber Walk- 1km


This trail extends from Marang Road, just behind the Harbourfront MRT Station to the cable car station at the Jewel Box on Mount Faber.
Marang Trail- 0.8km

And finally, we reached Harbourfront. More photos coming.

The day before, my company held a customer appreciation event- Golf Tournament 2008. Turnout was good, with an attedance of more than 90 people present. From our side, we have our management team, sales team from all 3 departments and administrators. Our internal customers included reps from our parent company and sister companies. Our ext customers were mainly those from building industry and those whom we've maintained their lifts for donkey years.

Everyone from NE side played golf, only Dom from my dept played, so most of my day was spent with the service dept ladies. My company is known to have pretty salespersons for that matter- petite, pretty and friendly. Yet, I noticed they are someone with substance, not bimbos. They're either pursuing degree, already had degrees, or pursuing masters/cfa. 

After quick lunch and Tee-off for golfers at 130pm, we had a buggy tour ride round the golf resort, and were fascinated by the beautiful and relaxing landscape. If not for the sorching un, we'll have gotten on our feet and grazed the fields instead. Ha. Well, few of us were splitted and stationed at two rest-houses, so our task is to pass drinks to golfers who need beer, water or 100plus. This gave me a great opportunity to know more of my colleagues better, and it was a thoroughly relaxing afternoon despite the high humidity, as some of them took turns sharing funny and ridiculous experiences.

The event was well-planned, organised and fun. During buffet dinner, the mood was light and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Throughout entire day and night, there wasn't much of the distinctive hierarchies of status differences. I was a little happier as i thought of the days when i was passionately involved in organising events one after another. Though i did hold back while others pro-actively and naturally PR-ed with the rest, i felt myself opening up at the end of day too. Give me a little more time to gain some confidence. In fact, i'm really happy that i'm doing wat i've always wanted to do. Though i'm appalled by some my society gestures and stuff, the night has given me another shot of motivation as i was thinking to give up.

And i found a common ground with the rest. Everyone works hard to meet required expectations and performance targets, and at the end of day we celebrate the good news together. Drive is the key word, and i see it in almost everyone around me.

On an ending note, i'm quite affected to receive a wedding news via sms and not by phone from an old friend. Dunno if there's a difference, but it matters to me lots. CONGRATS, my dear!!

People may fail many times, but they become failures only when they begin to blame someone else.  Experience is determined by yourself -- not the circumstances of your life.

Gita Bellin

Today, my manager told me, " During ytd's meeting, one of the concerns raised was your sales target. We find that it seems to be too high for someone without any sales background. I understand you told me before that you do not want me to lower my expectations of you as compared to the rest. But, i do not want you to feel demotivated when you've too high targets to meet.  So what do you think?"

Don't ask what my reply was. You know it if you understand me.

For the whole week, i was pretty down yet hopeful about the job interview. Not another company job interview but rather an interview for one of my projects. I felt pretty damned that things have come to such a situation, when things seemed so positive at first. Even my senior noticed i dun seem normal. And my mood swings have been bad lately, try asking my family especially.

To date, I've never regretted. Though i'm lousy at communication when not in the mood, i forced myself to call up clients still. Though i'm not in the best of mood, I still remain pro-active and caught up with any colleague who stepped into view. Though i'm brooding abt that job, i still actively looked for new possible jobs, and moving on.

Slightly more than 3 months. I need a little light to show me the way, prove to myself that i've made a right decision and doing the right things.


I'm hopeless when it comes to my dieting esp since now that i'm frequently having emo binge again. My stamina has really dipped so drastically that even 4k seemed to be limit for me. And all the more it makes me determined to challenge sundown marathon.

Right now, in my working life, i seemed to reach one tenth of my marathon and pressing on. Still nine tenth to go, needs more motivation and the light to my goal.

On year plus ago, wawa, yan n me took a picture at effiel tower in las vegas.



Ask me- Where would I wanna be given all the time and money in the world now---

Effiel Tower of Paris, Europe





And next will be Venice, Italy



And yes, I wanna be in Paris and Venice RIGHT NOW!

Crazy me! I was on the verge of pulling outta Sundown Marathon, until i chanced upon this.

Race Details Date: 31st May 2008 Venue: Start and End Point, Changi Point Time: Various Race Start Times Ultra-Marathon 84km 8.00pm (Sat Night) Marathon 42km 11.59pm (Sat Night)

And this!


So, I changed my mind. Yes, I want that medal!


Problem here is it's been more than 3 weeks since my LAST run, and the truth that my last run of 4km was truly horrible. My stamina has dipped and flunked.

I decided. I'm waking up at 7 am tmr morning for my 8km run. I I don't, I'm a pig.

Adding on another motivation, I've signed up for Shape Run on 20th July 2008. Running has always made me feel more  focus and determined.  I want that feeling back.

Do not betray my trust and get into my bad books; I'm not a forgiving person.

Once lost, it's gone.

Nearly 3 months into my second job. Aimed to close my first deal in three months, but apparently not.

Things are so unpredictable. Imagine if you were to get sued for proposing a solution to an existing problem? Imagine you were in serious talks and suddenly he called for a tender by other competitors?

Holly crap. Don't ask me which job i'm confident to close now. Within a week, my confidence level has dipped so drastically. Yes, i do enjoy meeting people, but getting people to part with 6 to 7 digits of money is hell of a task. I always hate it when those clients bargain like aunties in the fish market, except they're done in a much more professional manner with more mind games involved.

In another light, this is the art of doing business. A deal is only a deal when both parties recognize benefits out of it. Who wouldn't want the best deal at the end of day?

It's FRIDAY, but not the starting of my weekend.

i left office at 930 pm, rushing the preparation of slides and printing of proposals.

Every day, feels like every min is robbed off me in a flash.

Gosh, i'm getting really stressed. It's evident with pimples popping like nobody's business.

I'm looking forward to a good sleep tmr night yo.